Sunday, November 16, 2014

...and exhale

   Recently, I had the pleasure of modeling fall fashion ideas for a local women's magazine.  It was one of the most exciting and terrifying experiences I have had in a long time.  Exciting, because deep down inside I think it is every fashionista's dream to emulate the models who often define the clothing we adore. Terrifying, because I am not one of these models and still take many photographs that make me look like a character from, "Dumb and Dumber."  
    Now why, you ask, would someone with a personal style blog even think twice about posing for a professional photographer?  Am I not just playing the role of model every time I compose a blog post?  Maybe, but the difference is great and I feel that I need to explain it.  To begin, I photograph nearly all of my own blog pictures.  God bless the self timer option on my camera!  The ability to take my own pictures allows me to relax and basically, "ham it up," all I want without feeling like a total idiot in front of others.  I have learned that usually my favorite pictures are the oddest or most candid of shots.  In other words, the pictures of behavior I only display when I am alone.  
   Writing about this now reminds me of a time back in college when a fellow art major asked me to model for one of his photography projects.  I was quite excited to be included until I broke out in a funky stress rash during the photo shoot.  Between the rash, and my, "deer in the headlights," expression the session ended abruptly with an embarrassed model and frustrated photography student. In my opinion, there is just something so difficult about posing in front of others without feeling like a, "poser."  It's almost like the inauthentic behavior of posing eats my confidence alive.  Of course, this is only in front of others. When I am by myself I can, "lie my butt off," in front of the camera.  Who else is around to argue?
   This brings me to my second problem where I admit I have a very hard time smiling into the camera.  I can prove this by suggesting that a reader go back through the photographs in my posts and count how many times I have smiled.  I am willing to bet it is not many.  I cannot fake smiling.  I envy those who can.  I believe this talent would have allowed me to avoid many conflicts I have had in my life.  Unfortunately, I am just not capable of it.  I want to clarify, it is not that I do not smile.  I just need a legitimate reason to do it.  
   Luckily, the photographer who worked with me was extremely kind and professional.  She was quite helpful at directing me through poses and never once asked me to smile.  In fact, when I tried she stated, "let's try without smiling."  This statement convinced me the woman knew, not only the photography business, but her model.  
   I will admit I was excited to see the final product of my, "break out," photo shoot.  More than that, I was excited to take part in it.  This experience allowed me to catch a tiny glimpse of the fabulous world of modeling.  As a result it made me feel accepted in an industry I adore.  Now if I can just remember hands on the hips, turn towards the light, sultry stare, queue the wind machine, and suck in.

Jeans:  Guess
Shoes:  Libby Edelman
Purse:  Matt & Nat
Necklace:  Baublebar

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