Before today I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard in order to achieve a presentable blog post. I woke up this morning prepared to get my weekly musings written early, in the hopes that I could enjoy what is turning out to be an absolutely perfect fall afternoon. However, upon being confronted with the pictures I'd compiled for this post I was absolutely underwhelmed. Basically all of my photographs sucked. “This is not acceptable!” I thought and immediately readied myself for a challenge.
Luckily, inspiration came quickly and the dress I had intended to feature was not the styling nightmare I anticipated. As I was pairing it with various items I began to recognize where I had gone wrong the first time I attempted to photograph this dress…yes, the time I wore it in public...the time I did not wear it as well as I’d initially thought. While I was extremely pleased by the outcome of today’s restyling adventure, I was quite annoyed by the actual execution of these photographs. Let’s just say the, “Take 2,” shoot was a rather rocky one.
I began my glamour shot escapade by dropping my phone’s Bluetooth shutter remote somewhere in my yard. Now this would be annoying for anyone, however when one lives on an acreage and has a bad habit of stalking around fairly remote areas of it…well, you can see my dilemma. Needless to say I spent the first hour and a half of my, “photo shoot,” searching a terrain full of mulch piles in the hopes of finding something the size of a cigarette lighter. Only at the end of this search I was not going to have that well deserved celebratory cigarette. Damn society for pressuring me to quit smoking! I would be a lot less high strung if I could just light up once in a while.
As a result, instead of suffocating my rage with addictive behavior I opted for my old friend, self-deprecation. I can’t image what a bystander would have thought if they had witnessed me stalking around the yard uttering some of the foulest language even the most senior sailor could come up with. When it comes to creating nasty names for myself I’m a pro. Honestly I should get a medal for creativity. Ironically, it was just yesterday that I was, “creatively,” berating myself when I realized I was not the only person in the room. It was at this point that I apologized for my language and told the other individual that, “I usually try to watch my mouth when there is a lady present.” Instead of laughing liked I’d hoped, this woman looked at me oddly and didn’t reply. “Man, I’m a dumb ….” I thought.
Returning to today's odyssey, I’m shocked to report that I did end up finding my remote. However this did not happen before I had collected a small herd of fuzzy friends. I know it’s annoyingly obvious that I love my cats…I never stop talking, or writing, about them. Despite my undying affection, my cats can be a real pain when I’m attempting to take blog pictures. They are used to being babied by me and REFUSE to leave me alone when I’m trying to get something done. Huh…come to think of it, this is a problem I have at work as well…but that’s a whole separate blog post. Anyway, it’s not totally uncommon for me to have a cat hanging off my back in glamour shots. I simply try not to actually post these images on the blog…although I should because they're hilarious. In closing, I spent my morning retaking pictures of a dress I wanted to feature correctly. I ended up with a new collection of images that I believe shows a better coordinated woman, who appears pissed off. “I’ll take it,” I thought while unhooking a cat’s claws from my leg.