The Little Things

   Sometimes the best thing you can hope for is a good outfit.  I know this sounds rather bleak but honestly, it’s how I’ve been feeling lately.  I seem to have hit a rocky patch and am currently clinging to the small pleasures in life.  It’s not like anything specific is wrong.  I’ve simply been faced with an overwhelming feeling of dissatisfaction.  Again, I blame this on my birthday.  The older I get the more I start to hate that day.  I file it in the same category as New Year's Eve.  Basically, it’s a whole bunch of hubbub that reminds me of every unfulfilled expectation in my life. 

   Whew…well that got negative quickly.  As a result of my birthday blues, I’ve been trying to focus on the little things that have been good.  For instance, the above pictures show an outfit I recently wore and really liked.  Can you believe this entire ensemble was created out of thrifted items?  Okay, minus the specs.  Admittedly, I have an addiction to designer eye-wear.  Looking at these images now, I can’t believe how much I’ve ended up liking the shirt I have on.  This was one of those pieces I pulled off the rack at Goodwill and thought, “God, that’s quite possibly the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen!”  Of course, then I immediately purchased it and accepted the challenge of trying to make it look good.  Surprisingly, the opposite happened.  I truly believe this top made me look better.  If anything, I can state it made me feel better.  Shamefully, there's little that makes me more content than putting together a successful outfit.  Yes, I’m deep.  I know.

   It's notable to state when I stop trying to put clothes together there is usually something wrong with me.  A sure sign that I’m unhappy is if I’m wearing no accessories…that, and if I don’t have my nails painted.  To be truthful, if my nails aren’t painted schedule an intervention immediately because I'm definitely unwell. 

   Surprisingly, it was a child that made me aware of my current feelings of malaise.  I was at work when one of the kids I care for approached me and said, “You don’t look as fancy today Rayna.”  At first I laughed at the concept of this kid calling me out for wearing a t-shirt and jeans.  Upon further reflection, I became concerned with the fact that I really didn’t feel like being fancy.  “Uh oh,” I thought.  Of course, the next day I completely overcompensated and dressed in a mod blazer with full makeup in the hopes of gaining back an eleven-year old’s approval.  “See, it’s still me!” my outfit seemed to be screaming. 

   In the end I know these, “meh,” feelings will pass.  I have an unfortunate habit of over-analyzing things and it tends to mess me up.  Although maybe, “mess me up,” is not quite the right words.  Maybe these down times are important to ground me.  Maybe they help me appreciate when things are just normal.  I mean, it sure is nice to get super excited over a thrift store shirt, or a Bee Gee’s song, or movie theater popcorn, or a good phone call with my brother, or…

-r.