Sunday, July 31, 2016

It Just Figures, I'm Covered In Chiggers!

   Years ago I made a good friend laugh really hard.  Actually, I seem to make people laugh all the time.  Apparently, absent mindedness and self-deprecation are hilarious. However, there are certain occasions I don’t plan to put on a show.  It’s these moments I tend to remember. 
   On this specific day I was working at a greenhouse when I suddenly got the urge to leave my constant post at the front counter and actually GO OUTSIDE.  I decided I was in the green industry and it was time to see some green.  Upon exiting the building I reasoned I should be capable of watering trees.  I grabbed a hose and turned toward another employee to inquire where I may begin my task.  The moment I looked at my friend he started to laugh hysterically and point at my face.  Apparently, during the two minutes I’d been in, "the wild," I'd acquired a massive mosquito bite in the middle of my face.  “Rayna, you’re just not made for outside work,” he told me.
   Many years later I still remember that moment, mostly because my welt was epic and I was embarrassed by my body’s lack of endurance for the, “elements.”  At the beginning of this summer I was again reminded of my friend’s words.  I suddenly found myself temporarily working for my boyfriend’s landscaping company.   Needless to say everything I was required to accomplish was OUTDOORS.  I felt insecure in my ability to achieve these tasks. However, I reasoned if someone who has lived with me for almost ten years believes I can do it, then maybe it’s possible.  After about a month and a half of the rugged life I was convinced,  “No problem, I got this guys.  Do you want me to mow the back field with the John Deere…paint a dump truck…repot about sixty perennials…prune trees?  I do it all.”  Yep, I take pride in the new skills I’ve acquired this summer. 
   Yes indeedy, and I did it all with only a few minor setbacks.  Okay, so I admit there was that legendary first sunburn that probably flawed this china doll’s skin forever.  I’m also reminded of the week where I had trouble standing fully upright do to the spasms I was experiencing up and down my back after a morning of moving potted shrubs.  Huh, I guess they call it, “backbreaking,” work for a reason.  Come to think of it I also had that unfortunate afternoon where I discovered industrial blue paint does not simply wash off one’s skin.  I reasoned my speckled appearance was rather painterly and besides I like to think blue is a good color on me.  Of course, I did discover it does eventually flake off, especially when one’s skin is molting in sheets.  Then there was that lovely day I was introduced to the concept of chiggers.  Apparently chiggers are insects that reside in wooded areas exactly like our back shelterbelt…were I was often working.  While chigger bites are rather small, I must emphasize that THEY ARE MADDENING!  During my lifetime I’ve never experienced something so irritating and unrelenting.  I’m willing to admit this is probably due to the volume of bites I received.  At one point I think I had five of them in my bellybutton alone.  MY BELLYBUTTON!!!...which caused it to get rather infected looking…which caused me to keep putting Bactine and Band-Aids on it…which caused me to get a rash around it…and my God was I disgusting at that point!  Actually, I believe, “that point,” was about the time I took the photographs above.  Now, I’d like to specify I was still able to hide most of my maladies that day because these images were taken before my cat decided to sink his fangs into my left arm causing a wound which swelled to the size of a softball.  To which I treated with…wait for it…BACTINE, despite the advice of one doubtful and concerned pharmacist. 
   Now I ask my readers,  “Who say’s this lady can’t work outside?”  I guess if I were being truly realistic I would admit the fact that’s it’s probably a positive thing I now have a job working indoors…with children.  I mean kids, how detrimental could that be?  Oh...and no, I’m not at all concerned about that recent lice outbreak.

T-Shirt:  Threadless
Skirt:  Vintage (Handmade)
Jellies:  Thrifted
Purse:  Vintage (Coach)
Belt:  Anthropologie
Bracelet:  Thrifted
Sunglasses:  Kate Spade

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