I don’t think it’s any secret that I can be a little odd at times. I like to think of it as creative. This, “creativity,” gets heightened when I’m bored. Recently, I found myself without a lot to do. I have since remedied this boredom by starting a new job. However, I’ll save the topic of new beginnings for another blog post. At this time I want to discuss free time and what I did with mine.
Despite the fact that I refer to Little House Of Haute as a personal style blog, I'm aware that I rarely ever write about fashion. Really, I just don’t have that much to say about the topic. One can only brag about their thrifting finds so much. In addition, while I was in the transitional phase of finding a new job, I was unable to justify spending money on clothes. It also seemed rather ridiculous to get all dressed up to go absolutely nowhere. I guess the irony of that last sentence is that’s what I do every time I get dressed, job or not. The only people that ever get to see this lady’s, "look of the day," are the wonderful employees of Starbucks, the Public Library, thrift shops, and record stores. Of course, those are destinations one wants to look their very best…right?
When I took the photographs for this particular post I decided to embrace my fashion funk. I put on one of my many wacky t-shirts and ended up taking a series of portraits instead of the usual, “look at my cool outfit,” shots. I'm actually happy with the results of my efforts. I fully admit that I love to look at pictures of myself. Does this make me a seriously narcissistic person? Possibly, but maybe it just proves I’m curious. I would like to clarify I’m not afraid of a bad picture. Being someone who takes thousands of them every year I have a whole collection of TERRIBLE images of myself that I enjoy looking through when I need a good laugh. I have even considered doing a glamour shot bloopers post for some of the, "best of the worst," photographs. Stating this now, I again pledge to fulfill this promise. Some things are just too funny to pass up.
The reason I was so pleased with the pictures featured in this post is it allowed me to really study my face. There are endless expressions one can make in a day and I believe it’s totally wrong that after 37 years of life I probably haven’t seen half of the facial contortions others have seen from me. Maybe it’s the visual artist in me, but I seem to have this obsession with knowing what I look like. In addition, I want to perceive myself through someone else’s eyes. The only way I can think to do this is through a camera. Of course I would guess after seeing this blog post most individuals’ perception of me would be, “Man that chick is really weird!” My response would be, “You don’t know the half of it, buddy.”
I do want to state that I believe taking pictures of oneself is very therapeutic. It confronts an individual with their actual appearance and often diminishes feelings of self-consciousness. Of course, the person taking the pictures must be open to seeing both the good and bad that a photo can reveal. For example, I decided to take these portraits wearing my hair back. Quite honestly, I've never liked my hair up. In my mind it makes my face look too angular, which sets off how big my nose and overbite are. I've made this statement to other people and always received the answer, “You’re crazy Rayna. You look fine with your hair back.” Upon looking at these pictures for the first time I decided, “Well, it’s really not as bad as I thought.” Of course, this is when you consider only the pictures that made it to the actual blog. Some of my blooper shots are seriously, “Ruff.”
After looking at this post I’ve decided, “Yeah, maybe I’ll try wearing my hair back more.” Through this experiment in portraiture I like to believe progress has been made. At the very least I find myself feeling OK with the grey I’m starting to see, especially when I wear my hair up. I guess I’m proud to announce I just had my 37th birthday yesterday and I’m not a bit afraid to take another thousand pictures of myself this year…all with my hair undoubtedly down.
Model: 37 and OK with it