It’s finally that transitional time when the seasons are changing and my ensembles are going to
stop making sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m
absolutely thrilled that winter seems to have left the Midwest. However, I still have sweater clad pictures
to post! You can bet this narcissist will
not be trashing any of her hard earned glamour shots in the name of featuring weather
appropriate apparel. As a result, I apologize in advance to the few readers I have.
Once again Rayna is going to be dressed a tad odd.
Of course looking different is certainly
not a new concept for me. In fact, it
seems to be something I encounter on a daily basis. I find this odd considering I don’t think my personal style is really that outlandish.
In addition, I have no notable rebellious or shocking alterations to my
appearance. By this I mean I have
absolutely no tattoos…no florescent hair…and my ears are the only things I’ve
ever pierced…and that was once, when I was in 2nd grade…which, I
guess at the time made me feel pretty bad ass.
Considering all of this, I can’t help but wonder why I feel so darned
out of place when I go out in public.
Not that feeling out of place is necessarily
a bad thing. In fact, on most occasions
I quite like the attention. However, I’m often confused on why this
happens. There have been several times
that I've dressed in what I considered very, “meh,” ensembles and people have responded enthusiastically about, “my quirky style.”
I always take these comments as compliments (whether they are
intended to be or not) while thinking , “Whew!
I guess I still got it!”
Of course there is always that rare occasion
when I do find myself self-conscious of something I’ve put on. Now mind you, this is not something that
happens often. I'm fairly confident
wearing any ridiculous outfit I put together as long as it photographs well
against my magic barn wall. If you’ve read this blog before you know the wall I
speak of. Again, I find myself
apologizing to my readers for lack of creativity when it comes to background
scenery in my portraits. However, this
is supposed to be a, “fashion blog,” so technically I feel I could argue it’s solely
the outfit that should carry the image.
Of course, there have been several occasions that my ensembles have looked
severely questionable in my pictures, and depending on my motivation that
particular day I’ve either opted to change or simply, “just bloody wear it!” That last quoted bit I had to throw in due to the fact that it's my new favorite hashtag to troll on
Instagram. Of course, I don’t feel near
worthy enough to actually use it on my own posts…sigh…
Interestingly enough, even though I don’t
feel the confidence to post with this hashtag, I find myself repeating these
words in my closet often. I pick up, yet
another weirdo piece of clothing, and brood, “Why don’t I have any normal grown-up clothes?” For example, in some of the
pictures above I’m wearing a vintage Playboy turtleneck sweater. Upon finding it at a local antiques store I
was absolutely stoked.
Unfortunately, the day I put it on I suddenly felt self-conscious. “Is this really what a mature adult woman
should be parading around in?” I silently fretted. “Does this sweater just make me look like a
desperate almost middle aged woman sadly clinging to the concepts of youth and
beauty?” “Ah well,” I caved. “Just bloody wear it Rayna!” Of course, a few days later I found myself
showing these pictures to a very attractive and much younger acquaintance of
mine. “Is that a Playboy sweater?!" she
screeched. “Uh...yeah," I answered rather
sheepishly. “I LOVE IT!!! You have THE BEST clothes!” “Score one for the desperate old lady,”
I thought smiling.
-r.
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