Sunday, April 30, 2017

Are you as uncomfortable as I am with this smile?

   Well, I lied.  It’s not the first time and it certainly won’t be the last.  Against my better judgement, at the beginning of my previous blog post I proclaimed winter to be over.  Of course a winter storm has now been predicted for Monday so, "What the heck do I know?"  Never listen to me.  I seriously just blather on about nothing in order to entertain…mostly myself.
   Keeping this in mind I also lied about the fact that I had reached the end of my, “winter photographs.”  I had conveniently forgotten about this set and was dismayed by the fact that I could be potentially posting pictures that featured snow on the ground while it was 70 degrees outside.  No problemo folks!  I guess even cruddy weather has an upside.
   The reason I stated I, “conveniently,” forgot these pictures was due to the fact that the last image makes me uncomfortable.  I simply can’t decide if it’s one of my favorites or just plain awkward.  However, I reasoned the outfit I had on that particular day was well styled and I shouldn’t sweep it under the rug because I decided to crack a smile for once.  GASP!  My God!  The robot has feelings!  To explain to those of you I have not yet bored with this story, I was named after a character in an old episode of the original, “Star Trek,” series.  This character was an android and supposedly created to be, “the perfect woman.”  She was also Captain Kirk’s love interest…for that episode…which ultimately lead to her demise.  Honestly, this particular story was not very flattering to the female gender.  However it was the 1960's and things were different then, right?
   Except when I really contemplate it I realize things haven’t changed all that much.  I mean here I am, Rayna the android, still trying to take enough glamour shots to portray myself as the, “perfect woman.”  Many times I find myself pouring over these images all the while picking them apart for every inadequacy I can detect.  “Wow, my nose looks huge in that one!” and, “Holy crap, skinny jeans do not work with my thighs!,” I think.  One of the biggest things I regret regarding my appearance is my smile.  I simply can’t get right with that enormous toothy grin. 
   However other people seem fine with it.  In fact, I'll never forget the time I was flipping through pictures I'd taken of myself and my dad commented on one stating, “I like that one.  It really looks like you.”  I was mortified!  In my mind the image in question was beyond wretched.  I mean sure, I was laughing hysterically and seemingly having a really good time.  However, all I could see was that massive overbite full of giant chompers.  “Is this really how people see me?,” I feared. 
   It’s taken me a while but finally I've come to terms with the idea that, “Yeah, this is probably how a lot of people see me.”  I admit to being kind of a goofy person, who laughs a lot, and attempts…keyword… to make others do the same.  I suppose for someone so concerned with looking, “perfect,” this is odd, but I can’t help it.  Besides, I’m not the one subjected to every twisted contortion my face makes.  I have my glamour shots to make me feel, “perfect.”  Hmm…glamour shots, another example of how I lie.  I may have a problem here.
   In conclusion, I decided to post this last picture of myself in an attempt to, “get right,” with what Rayna the android REALLY looks like.  Yeah she’s silly, and her teeth are far from perfect, but she’s happy.  Plus, she’s quite the snappy dresser.  Maybe Captain Kirk’s Rayna would have lasted longer had she been more concerned with clothes rather than appearing perfect.

Blazer:   Vintage  (Pendleton)
Blouse:  Banana Republic
Jeans:  Joe’s Jeans
Boots:  Ugg
Purse:  Sonia Rykiel
Hat:  Wooden Ships
Gloves:  Vintage
Brooch:  Vintage  (Gift)


  1. It is always interesting to see how friends see themselves vs. how others see them. I always felt that way about my voice when I hear it recorded.

    1. Interesting you mentioned your voice. I clearly remember a time in college when we were hanging out and you decided to belt out Danzig's, "Sistinas." I thought, "Whoa, that dude can really sing!!!"

    2. Lol, it's fascinating how we interpret ourselves. And that must have been when I was rooming with Lars.

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