Cupcakes and Clowns

   Just today I told my boyfriend I felt like I was going through some sort of early midlife crisis.  His response was an emphatic, “No you’re not.  You’re way too young for that.”  I was instantly annoyed.  Who was he to tell me how I was feeling?! 

   Of course, I neglected to tell him I had proof of my suspected crisis.  However some stories seem like too much work to explain.  Such things include my secret trip made to the St. Vincent De Paul thrift store.  This outing occurred after I was able to leave work early the other day.  Instead of going directly home..."sigh," like I always do...I chose to hit one of my favorite thrifting hot spots.  To elaborate, I believe one of the largest issues of my, “midlife crisis,” is the realization that the majority of my adult life is simply a series of trips between home and work.  During the weekdays I never go anywhere else…other than the occasional trip through the McDonalds drive-thru in order to get one of those delicious crispy chicken southwest salads…and yes, fries too.  The other day when the rare opportunity to break routine presented itself I felt thrilled…and a little guilty...to find myself mindlessly roaming the aisles of St. Vinny’s on a Friday afternoon!

   Actually, I wasn’t exactly without purpose that day.  Lately I’ve been hyped for the cinematic remake of Stephen King’s novel, “It.”  I truly can’t wait until it's released!  I mean, come on...nothing announces the arrival of autumn more than a killer clown classic.  As a result of my excitement, I’ve been trolling secondhand stores in search of a used copy of this book.  When asked why I didn’t just go buy the paperback at Barnes & Noble my father knowingly responded for me by stating, “Because she obviously wants a creepy haunted copy.”  Now here is an example of someone who understands what I’m feeling.  Unfortunately I still haven't been able to locate my perfect spooky edition of this story.  However my thrift store search will continue, and in the meantime I’ve collected quite a few new tweed treasures for my fall wardrobe. 

   Despite my lack of success finding Stephen at St. Vinny’s, I did come across one of the most alluring pieces of clothing I’ve encountering in quite a while.  It was a light pink chiffon and lace layered dress that looked to have been made around the 1950’s.  I was immediately drawn to it.  It was so pretty...it was so impractical…it was so juvenile.  “When would I ever wear such a thing?” I thought while desperately trying to justify the space in my closet this saccharine puffy monstrosity would fill.  I reluctantly left the thrift store that day opting to use the $9.00 in question towards a more, "adult," cause. 

   Of course now, two days later, I sit here lamenting the fact that for the price of a McDonald’s crispy chicken salad and fries I could be the living embodiment of a cupcake.  In other words, I can’t believe I left that dress!!!  Who cares if it was a totally inappropriate garment for a thirty-eight year old woman to wear.  Heck, I could throw one of the seemingly hundreds of tweed blazers I’ve collected over it and suddenly I’m on to something.  I’m so irritated at myself for letting my insecurities get the best of me.  Perhaps that dress was not meant to fill up my closet, but rather refill a spontaneity in me that has been smothered by adulthood and then dressed in…you got it…tweed.  So today I sit here, looking at the pictures above, that display an outfit I find appropriate for a woman my age and I think, “Man, St. Vinny’s won’t be open again until Tuesday.  Who knows if some twenty-something twit will be wearing my dress by then!”  Now I ask you, how can I explain myself competing over clothes with college students without considering the possibility of a mid-life crisis?  Not even the cruelest killer clown story is that ugly. 

-r.