The Habits of Haute (A Year of Style 2015)

   “Hello year three of my blogging career!”  I have a hard time believing I’ve been yakking on about virtually nothing for this many posts.  Wait, okay anyone who knows me realizes that’s a total lie.  I absolutely love concentrating on the trivial.  The reason behind this is simple.  Contrary to what a style blog may suggest about a person, I confess that I'm anything but trivial.  Unfortunately for me, and most of the people I speak with, I'm an individual who worries…like, a lot…about things that go beyond the silly topics I discuss on this blog.  This being stated, I consider it a luxury for me to periodically concentrate on the mundane while writing these posts.  Now don’t get me wrong, I do worry about a lot of really stupid things.  I worry that if I wear denim too much I won't be viewed as a legitimate fan of fashion.  I worry that the absolutely stunning Rag & Bone purse I’ve been ogling at for about a year now will go on sale and I will miss it.  (Which I did!!!  Why God?!)  I worry that my overbite looks huge in every picture I smile in.  Therefore, 2015 is full of blog pictures of one pissed off looking, denim wearing woman who just missed the biggest sale of the year at Rag & Bone.  So let me tell you, I worry.

   What I don’t often broadcast to the public is the real things I stress about.  I find myself concerned with how much time I spend alone.   I go to coffee by myself and read every day I have off work.  I spend most of my evenings locked away in my sewing room either crafting or composing posts for my two blogs.  In addition, lately if not reading or writing, I find myself going through some sort of early midlife crisis where I have the overwhelming urge to purchase a beanbag chair in order to listen to vinyl records in comfort while burning Nag Champa incense.  I must admit as immature as it sounds, a beanbag chair would be a nice alternative to simply laying on my Indian rug, (“Big Lebowski,” style,) which is what I’ve been doing for about a year now.  I fear with the arrival of 2016, and the dreaded turning 37, I’m not sure how much longer my back can actually take lying on a hardwood floor.  Even wannabe hippies start to lose the ability to sit cross legged in a drum circle…of one.

    Of course this subject addresses my biggest worry.  As time goes by I find myself increasingly fixated on my age.  Does this blogger who takes hundreds of, “glamorous,” pictures of herself stress about mundane things like gaining weight, going gray, and getting wrinkles?  Definitely, I believe most women are concerned when faced with the reality that their appearance is changing.  It seems so unfair that one can feel like just, “one of the girls,” only to later be confronted with some well-meaning, yet utterly naïve twenty something calling her Ma’am.  Side note:  Unless you’re from the South, (As I understand, this is a common term used to address females there), please do not address any woman under the age of 70 as Ma’am.  Personally, I prefer Ms.  However, Miss, hon, or gorgeous would also be acceptable.  At this point you’re probably shaking your head in disgust while thinking, “I knew someone who takes that many pictures of herself would worry about such ridiculous things.”  While I agree that these concerns are, "small potatoes," compared to the issues other individuals face on a daily basis, I want to state that they are still valid.  In addition, they're actually the precursor to the true subjects this blogger frets about.  The real reason I worry about growing older is all the things I fear I haven’t accomplished.  Sometimes, I feel like standing up in a room full of people and proclaiming, “I’m a 36 year old woman who is unmarried and has no children.  I have a career in retail and will always have a job where I’m required to stand on my feet all day.  I still work nights and weekends.  I’m not certain I will ever be able to retire.  I don’t have dental insurance, and the previously mentioned overbite is most likely the least of my problems regarding teeth.  I seem to be getting increasingly antisocial especially since most other individuals want to hang out in bars.  I worry that someday I will lose control and once again want to hang out in bars.  Lastly, I don’t know which side of the engine my car battery is on…or how to open the hood for that matter.  Apparently, this is something most grownups should know.” 

   In conclusion, lately everyone I talk to seems to be under an enormous amount of stress.  I blame this on the New Year.  It’s a holiday that causes people to reflect on the future, the present, and most prominently the past.  I guess I wrote this post in an attempt to create some sort of solidarity with anyone of my readers who may be struggling with their own worries.  Don’t get me wrong, 2015 marked a lot of wonderful events for this blogger.  However, despite this, real life is not always as perfect as, “glamour,” shots can make it look.  So, if you find yourself this New Year’s confronted with pictures of someone else that seems to have the, “world by the ass,” remember, people generally represent their lives in the most positive way possible, despite whether this representation is truly honest.  Nobody wants to appear like they’re struggling or lagging behind.  Some of us collect a year’s worth of, “pretty,” pictures in order to help ward off these feelings of inferiority.  This being stated, some of us look back at these pictures and think, “Dang, 36 looks better than I thought it would.”  This thought alone is enough to make even a girl with the biggest overbite smile.

-r.