Sunday, July 5, 2015

The Haute Hall of Fame (Shelly Tambo)

   Well, I think the first photograph of this post makes it fairly obvious why I had to induct the fictional character of Ms. Shelly Tambo from TV's, "Northern Exposure," into the Haute Hall of Fame.  Anyone who can pull off wearing fringe on their coat, boots, and purse at the same time deserves some serious recognition.   
   Now, it's no secret that I myself have enough fringe in my closet to rival what I imagine Cher's dressing room may look like.  However, I have never considered wearing more than one fringed item at a time.  I mean that would just be gaudy, and who would want to drag the otherwise totally classy style of fringe down to that level?!, here's a thought...unless, cheap is the look one is aiming for.  In that case please do put on fringed cowboy boots over a printed pant, paired with a crochet sweater over just a bra.  Top this look off with half a can of Aqua Net and a healthy spritz of Exclamation perfume and you're ready to hit the FireHouse show, baby!
   Of course, this is precisely why I adore the character of Shelly Tambo from, "Northern Exposure."  She was that girl.  An over the top, undeniably tacky, ditz who defined herself as half hair band groupie, half rink rat.  Basically, her character emulated a large portion of the girls I grew up with during the early 90's.  Yep, the 1990's, the last acceptable time to wear fringe on your back, feet, and handbag all at the same time.  Unless you happen to be in South Dakota, that is.
   Let me be clear that this last statement was not intended as a insult towards the state I have called home for the majority of my life.  It's simply my observation that the people of the Midwest seem to have a serious, "soft spot," for the music and clothing of the 1980's and early 1990's. Which is really ironic if you think about it since the fashion of these decades has made a serious comeback within modern day hipster culture.  An outsider may at any moment find themselves surrounded by individuals wearing stonewashed denim, banana clips, or plastic charm earrings and think, "Wow, these South Dakotan's are seriously hip!"  However, I would challenge these individuals to check out what's playing on the local folks' radios.  Nine times out of ten I guarantee it's going to be Def Leppard instead of Mumford & Sons.  Which again I'm not criticizing, because Mumford just doesn't have enough chutzpah to get me to want to suck it in for those ultra tight, high waist jeans.  One might as well have hair band fun if they're going to suffer.
   In closing, the outfit I wore in the pictures above was my rather conservative version of what the character Shelly Tambo would wear at the age of 36.  Believe it or not I already had the fringed boots in my closet and wear them rather regularly, thank you very much!  In fact, maybe I'll wear them to the next hair metal show I attend, which could be at any given time considering I've already seen Poison three times, Motley Crue twice, Alice Cooper twice, and Guns N' Roses once. Embarrassingly enough, these are just the ones I remember.  Sadly, I never did get to see FireHouse. Yet, to this day, when I hear, "Love of a Lifetime," the 90's high school me returns and instantly wants to slow dance in my fringed boots with some 5' 4", "juvie," dude with a mullet. 

Shirt:  Banana Republic
Jeans:  Mossimo Supply Co. (Transformed into capri  pants by me)
Boots:  Thrifted
Bracelet:  Thrifted
Sunglasses:  Dolce & Gabbana
FireHouse's, "Love of a Lifetime"


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