Screaming Into The Void

   I’ve recently decided there's nothing that pisses me off more than a bad internet connection.  I can hear it now, “Poor Raine…this is what my special man friend calls me...the worst thing in her life is that she can’t sign into her Instagram account to see how many, “likes,” her latest blog picture got.”  While I get seriously annoyed by the endless teasing I’ve had to endure from my totally, "unplugged," companion, I have to admit his comments regarding my addiction to the interwebs are quite valid.  It’s true…if I can’t access my social media accounts I feel panicked.  God forbid people are allowed to forget about me for a day!

   The whole idea of this obsession with socialization is quite strange for me considering most of my, “real life," free time is spent either alone or with the aforementioned gentlemen…who I noticed today can annoy me with simply the sound of his chewing…who knew fried chicken could be so freaking LOUD?!  Side note:  if the simple act of someone else’s eating is starting to push your buttons you may need to spend an afternoon apart once in a while.  Of course it’s…wait, hold on a second…what was I writing…huh…, “CAN YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE TV!!!  I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINKING ABOVE THE ROAR OF YET ANOTHER, “LAW & ORDER,” EPISODE!!!”  My God, I think the chewing noises were less irritating than Sam Waterston’s voice turned up to way above 11.

   Mentioning Sam Waterston reminds me of an episode of, “Grace and Frankie,” where a computer technician is attempting to explain the concept of the internet to the oblivious Luddite character of Frankie.  Basically, the technician states that posting something online should not be perceived as a personal conversation, but rather something more like screaming into the void.  I found this idea rather profound… and embarrassing since this technology amateur has always considered posting a much more intimate experience. 

   Unfortunately this concept of, “force feeding information to anyone who will listen,” has stuck with me. As a result, my blog writing experience has changed.  The whole thing just feels less special.  In addition, there's nothing more lonely than realizing you’re actually speaking to nobody…for like years. 

   At the same time, there's a certain sense of relief that comes with the idea that it doesn’t matter what kind of gobbledygook one comes up with while blogging.  Yes, there's a freedom one feels with the realization that this is not a conversation and things don’t have to make sense.  In addition, it's fantastic to be able to blather on about a bunch of opinions without anyone else interjecting their… “okay, now what the hell was that noise?!  Great..yep…that is definitely the sound of one of my animals barfing…probably from the fifth consecutive, “Law & Order,” episode they’ve had to endure watching.  I’ve got to go clean that up…but how was I going to end this thing?  Did I even discuss the outfit I’m wearing in the above photographs?  Man, that sounds kind of bad.  How much grass did Shelby wolf down the last time I took her potty?  I better wrap this up quick.  Uh...yep, it sure is nice to be able to scream into that void with no unwanted interruptions from the outside.”

-r.