A Favorite...Fur Sure!

   Recently I had an experience that truly scared me.  Thinking back, I find it strange how the most alarming things in life have an odd way of sneaking up on people.  I can’t help but linger on the fact that I waste a good portion of each day worrying about life’s supposed, “big issues."  After I’ve analyzed every possible outcome of these fears I somehow always convince myself that I’m more prepared.  It’s usually at this time that fate rears it's ugly head and states, “Yeah, but I bet you never saw this one coming.”  The only comparison I can think of is my compulsive habit of checking that the stove and oven are both off before I leave the house.  Once I’m FINALLY convinced that none of the burners are going to spontaneously blast out three foot flames I exit the back door only to realize I don’t have my keys, purse, or even a coat on.  To put it simply, I’m always so damned concerned about the what-ifs I don’t pay attention to the actual what-happens. 

   My own history has taught me that the moment one realizes they could potentially be in a lot of trouble is almost always quite shocking.  I’m convinced it’s not that slow burn of dread that one has to worry about.  Instead, it’s the sudden unexpected threat that you never even knew existed.  I guess a wiser woman would take a long look at these last few statements and accept the fact that most things in life are out of one's control.  As a result, I should just say, “screw it.”

   This brings me to my New Year’s resolution.  The other day I had someone ask me what I wanted to change about myself this year.  Surprisingly, my answer was rather abrupt.  I state, “surprisingly,” since up to that point I hadn’t really considered altering anything about the rut I’ve grown so comfortable in.  However at that moment I found myself quickly answering, “I want to worry less and be kinder to myself.”  Immediately I could tell this answer was not satisfactory to the listening party.  I could almost hear the gears in this person's brain grinding, “Don’t you want to exercise more?”  I stared directly into their confused face willing them to have me expand on my profound epiphany.  “Oh,” they answered halfheartedly and then scurried away.

   Additionally, I want to mention I did recently experience something a whole lot lighter on the terror scale…lighter, but still disturbing.  While I was playing in my closet…yes, I wrote, "playing," because that’s exactly what I often do when I need a stress reliever…I realized I hated just about every handbag I own.  The thought just fell out of the sky and suddenly I was terribly weighed down by the smothering idea that all of my purses were cheap, outdated, and juvenile.  How could I possibly not have seen this before?  I call myself a personal style blogger?  Who was I trying to kid?

   Of course, as I sit here now writing this post I’ve had a chance to calm myself down.  I no longer have the urge to throw away every purse I own…which is good because I have an undeniable habit of getting these urges and then giving bags and bags of my closet away before I really consider what I’m doing.  While I've come to the conclusion that I do have quite a few purses I could comfortably part with, I'll also admit that I may have been just a touch moody the other evening and perhaps exaggerated the issue.  In any case, I find this situation to be the perfect opportunity to exercise my New Year’s resolution.  I pledge to be kinder to myself when considering the fact that I don’t yet have the money saved for a Louis Vuitton.   I will not worry about when I might be able to afford my, “dream bags.”  Lastly, if I ever get anywhere close to having the cheddar needed to chase down one of these babies I promise to say, “Screw it!  Visa, you pay the rest!”  Who says resolutions have to be unpleasant?  Looking at these pictures now, all I can think is, “Thank God I still like my coat collection or this could be a terrifying year for my finances."

-r.